I'm rerecording my first album, Pet Symmetry, and have a batch o' new/old tracks on my Myspace profile. You should go listen to 'em and tell me what you think!

Only, tell me here, 'cause who fucking looks at Myspace anymore?

I just realized. At 27 years of age, 29.6% of my life has been under the presidency of George W. Bush.

I had only been out of high school for 7 months when he was inaugurated.

No wonder I'm such an angry young man.

Guess who's cleaning out his desk today . . . !!!

"We love cadavers!!!!!!!"

Who has no internet and hates not having internet?

This guy.

So, for America Hates Poultry Day, Alexis and I went up to Lungeyeland to hang out with my mom and feast on a meal at Bryant and Copper, a painfully fancy steakhouse, graciously paid for by my painfully well-off cousin. Now we've got left-overs to eat for at least a week! Yay, food!

Worst part of the day: my mom, who has MS, tripped up the stairs and banged herself up pretty well. The fall itself wasn't so bad, though, and nor was it an MS-y slip up. It was an honest trip that anyone coulda made, but she spent the rest of the day beating herself up for it, and feeling more handicapped than she deserved to.

Best part of the day, by far: because she was kinda shaken up by said fall, a few minutes later, she introduced me to her neighbor's 10 year-old daughter, and then introduced Alexis as, "My son's lover." The kid blanched, and my mom burst out in hysterical laughter, claiming she meant, "This is my son's girlfriend, who I love." It's always a successful holiday when you can scar a kid for life.

And lastly, despite the fact that LJ has been a bustlin' activityland for a while now, I might not be online for a little while as we can't afford to pay our interweb bill at the moment. So, in the meantime, remember me fondly, while I try to somehow scrounge up the cash to make Time Warner cease being such a cockblock.

Yay, economy! 28 days and counting without a job!

Kid Rock really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really should not have a Storytellers episode.

Really.

Way to kick ass, Savage! Keep it up!

"You're taking my rights away, and I'm interrupting."

"Well, it's okay, sport, it's natural to be confused. Lemme start from the beginning. The first thing you fucked up was . . . "

An open letter to joshacid :

You've made your point. Stop being a dick and come back.

I've got all these snacks . . .

Yours,
Hank Williams IV

If we're to believe MSNBC and CNN, it's over. Our boy has won. Man. Man. Man.

Here are some more phfotos from truckgelalala's wallmap.



And my representation of Alaska. Note the banana clip.


I can't wait to be done with Republican bullshit.

And Rachel Maddow's purty. And if Al Franken wins, I will be an ecstatic electric boy.

The world is changing in front of our friggin' eyes.

Last day at New Line. Sad. I shall miss this place and people for sure.

So, to cheer me up, here's a meme stolen from king_duncan!

1. Go to Flickr
2. Search "Halloween [The Year You Were Born]"
3. Post your favorites

( 1981: Best Party Ever )

Also, I'm incredibly irritated with airline commercirals right now. Anyone else feeling that? Two, in particular. And I keep having to see them over and over again, either on TV or on those small little elevator monitors that tell you how stocks were doing 45 minutes ago.

First off, there's this one (which, despite seeing 400 times this week, I can't find online for the life of me, so I'll just use my narrative skillz): a guy in a nice suit walks out of a building, and then someone (one assumes his secretary) runs up to him with some papers, and then another person comes up and starts measuring his arm, and then another person runs up to him, and another, and another, and a golf cart, and a woman with food, and OHMYGODTHEENTIRECITYISRUNNINGAFTERHIMDOWNTHESTREET!!!!! And then it cuts to him sleeping in a bunk on an airplane, all alone save for a sexy flight attendant, who whispers, "Good night, Mr. Douchejug," and he's all safe and warm and in the fetal position, practically sucking his thumb. To which I say: Oh, boo-fucking-hoo, Mr. Businessman. So many people are trying to get in touch with you! With the suit alterations and the catering and the golf buddy. "Wah! So many people are trying to give me things and help me! Waaaah! I wanna nap on the plane, so the hot Asian stewardess will tuck me in, possibly diaper me, and let me jack off on her later! She even knows my name, 'cause this is essentially a high-altitude brothel!"

(EDIT: I found it!
)

And then there's this one. Another one that pretty much says, "Hey, Asian stewardesses'll blow you! Good for you, Richie Rich!" I mean, the end, when the phallic plane pulls up towards the window, the guy gets a martini from the hot lady, and then she opens her lips ever so slightly as she walks away. Come fucking on.


I mean, a) the economy is so piss poor right now that anything that caters to this level of luxury should just get slapped in the face, and b) shouldn't there be some sort of law that says commercials need to be at least slightly subliminal about their sexuality? 

Greatest. Gif. Ever.



One week to go, y'all. Don't get cocky.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


http://spoilerslost.blogspot.com/2008/10/first-real-promo-for-season-5.html

( How can I turn down a book meme?! )

 From  angelalala</lj> 

The Rules
Whip out your music program, click the random button, and pick out 20 songs. Alter the name by turning it into a convoluted, wordy synonym. For example: Silent Night = Nocturnal Time Completely Lacking Noise. When someone guesses the title correctly, italicize the convoluted one and put the real title and the person who figured it out.

Consider it whipped out. Good luck, motherfucks!

1. "The Process of Beginning a Fresh Vitality" - Van Morrison
2. "Defeated on the Way to the Aggresively Curled Set of Fingers" - Elvis Costello & the Attractions
3. "A Countryside Road with Poor Orthography Named After Roseanne Barr's Second Husband's Last Name" - Pink Floyd = "Arnold Layne" Otherzach
4. "Zero Pecuniary Credit Required Upfront" - Chuck Berry = "No Money Down" Otherzach
5. "Taking Place within the Confines of the Area Designated by Numerous Theologies for Those whom Have Lived their Lives in an Objectively Good Manner (Vocalized Melody of a Female Located within a Heat Exchanger)" - Pixies = "In Heaven (Lady in the Radiator Song)" Otherzach
6. "A Quintessentially-Named Russian has an Encounter with a Popular Hasbro Action Figure" - The Clash = "Ivan Meets G.I. Joe" Otherzach
7. "Chocolate Starfruit" - Beck = "Asshole" saiermune 
8. "The Area Between or Behind Buildings Specifically Located in an Historic City in South Carolina" - Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross
9. "I Am of the Conviction (In the Event that I Develop Personal Attachments of a Particularly Strong Degree, Said Feelings Will be of an Infinite Duration)" - Stevie Wonder = "I Believe (When I Fall in Love it Will be Forever)" Otherzach
10. "Frozen Poultry" - John Lennon = "Cold Turkey" weaklingrecords</lj> 
11. "A Malevolant Spirit that Induces a Very Agreeable Palatal Sensation" - The Sugarcubes
12. "Conflagrate that Particular Item" - Modest Mouse = "Fire It Up" Otherzach
13. "Aortal Pump Covered with Numerous Fluidic Sacks" - Badly Drawn Boy saiermune</lj> 
14. "Entity" - The Beatles = "Something" weaklingrecords</lj>  
15. "Kal-El and Others of His Ilk" - David Bowie
16. "The Six-Stringed Instrument in My Personal Possession Would Like to be Responsible for the Biological Cessation of the Female that Gestated and Birthed You" - Mothers of Invention = "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama" = Otherzach
17. "Substance Generally Lower in Milk-Fat than Typical Products of Its Kind, and is Produced at a Temperature of About −4 °C, Allowing for the Detection of More Flavor; also Containing Air Introduced at the time of Freezing, Called Overrun, Which Varies from 0% to Up to 60% of the Total Volume of Finished Product" - Soul Coughing = "Soft Serve" weaklingrecords</lj> 
18. "A Person Whom One Hopes is Capable of Evaluation, as that Seems to Be His/Her Job Description, Based on the Given Epithet" - Radiohead = "Reckoner" Otherzach
19. "Progeny of a Cipher" - Traveling Wilburys
20. "A Person Capable of Getting the Blues Ensconced in Geological Grain Slightly Smaller than Silt" - Neil Young & Crazy HorseI would like to state for the record, too, that many of these are significantly easier than the list I first had ready to go. My Random function was cruel today. For instance, "A Perennial Flower Connotating Romance Manifested by the Solid Phase of a Liquid," by Captain Beefheart, was one of the easier ones.

( I'm about to post this on Facebook--thoughts? )</div></div></div>